We can often get into a state of anxious paralysis to the point where we feel like a rabbit caught frozen-still in the headlights of an on-coming car.
How does this happen? Well if you have big ambitions for your career or business then you no doubt have a big picture in your mind of what must happen for you to succeed. Perhaps it’s making a certain amount of profit in a period or year, or getting promoted or developing winning relationships.
Now thinking big like this can be a very good way to get to where you want to go.
On the other hand, as I find with my clients it can often be the source of stress and paralysis. Let me explain. A common scenario that means my client is suffering this kind of paralysis is when they say: ’I’m losing sleep because I get loud, anxious thoughts swimming around about not having achieved enough and my big goal is impossible’.
Or perhaps my client describes an increasing inability to present or perform well because they’re worried about the damage they may do to their career prospects if they’re not perfect.
Sound familiar? What I would suggest to both of these clients is to decide consciously to daily take action toward their big picture.
Or even better to think big picture but to paint one small piece at a time.
So if your big picture is to have enough profit at the end of the year then decide on a daily basis what small step you can take to ensure this. It might be to buy a software programme to make it easier for you to input your expenditure and income. Or to investigate the cost of a professional accountant to keep your finances in order.
Whatever it is you decide to do when you consciously and regularly do it, it has the effect of coding in your mind that the big picture is actually getting completed. And that means your mind is able to record the evidence that the big picture is possible and allows it to build the next constructive step to take..
Making sense to you now? So what do you see yourself doing on a regular basis towards achieving your big picture or dream? Write it down now and start making your dream come true . . . . .
I have come to realize that the power of the mind is staggering. I was working the other day with a client who suffered from severe back pain that limited her both mentally and physically. She believed that her pain was something sinister and suspected it was cancer. Such thoughts rushed through her mind at night keeping her awake, damaging her health further and making her feel even more tired and helpless during the day.
We worked together on creating a calm mind space for her so that she could allow her subconscious to get to work on the healing process. Through regression we pin-pointed a significant event in her past that led her to have little belief in herself and that meant she could not move forward. Once she had been able to re-process this event her progress was swift.
The woman’s fears that she had cancer reminded me of a recent BBC headline claiming that hypnosis should be a core therapy in the treatment of cancer.
Phyllis Alden, consultant psychologist in the department of clinical oncology at Derbyshire Royal Infirmary, made this claim a couple of years ago: “It helps people achieve control of their emotions and be calm and relaxed. It can also help in symptom control, for example treating pain and nausea.”
Most anyone can be hypnotized and therefore benefit. Learning the art of self hypnosis is a life enhancing skill, that once learned can help you reduce and manage pain, prepare for demanding situations, discover and reconnect to inner resources and abilities and generally be more self aware.
A simple way to introduce yourself to the power of self-hypnosis is to find a few quiet moments where you can sit quietly and become aware of your breathing. As you do this find something a little above eye level to rest your eyes on as you continue to be gently aware of your breathing, noticing as you do that it slows right down. Now just keep your eyes fixed on that spot and notice the rest of the room or environment that you’re aware of on the edges of your vision, be aware of the feeling of your body in the chair and your feet on the floor and just stay with your breathing happening gently all by itself and notice how your state has changed. This is just the beginning of how to enter a state of trance where your mind has a single focus and therefore increased power to resolve problems or heal your body.
Sometimes we don’t appreciate the level of stress we have become used to and this is dangerous, it can lead to serious illness. If you’re in any doubt take a self assessment here check your levels of stress here and if they are higher than you thought decided to take some action today before it’s too late.
Most people report stress as being their number one problem at work, but there is a method of categorising pressure which can help you deal with stressful situations.
Put simply: it is to do with your ability of keeping your sense of perspective whilst experiencing a stressful situation. So when the pressure build you need to be able to build the skil of stepping back and considering where the stress ranks against real-life threatening experiences. Sounds easy doesn’t it – but how is this kind of mind-game carried out in your place of work?
Life is of course full of very stressful situations. But broadly speaking they can be categorised into various levels of severity. For example: thre is a clear distinction which is easy to grasp, between a life-threatening situation – like failing to do something on time for your boss, on the other.
Now measured against the stress categories above, most work related pressure is really quite minor. A deadline missed, a meeting attended late or an incomplete project, just can’t measure up against real-life threatening problems. And yet the stress levels experienced by some can be almost identical.
So nailing stress is all about keeping it in perspective. As you feel the pressure growing, step back for a moment and in your mind rate the likely outcome of failing to meet the deadline or attend that meeting.. Sure, you might upset some around you; it might even lead to your losing your job. But in the process of categorising those things that really matter, you’ll quickly see that none of the above are life threatening propositions. And once you have this one simple fact in perspective – the immediate stress will semm far easier to handle. Indeed you’ve just nailed your stress.
If you feel stressed all the time you need to check out whether you’re heading for burnout. click here to complete this assessment. The sooner you understand the signs of burnout and are more aware of your condition the sooner you can do something positive about it.
We all makes mistakes, most of them we recover from fairly easily, others make us feel helpless and stuck. The later are usually the final straw type that follow a seemingly endless negative period where one thing after another is going wrong.
When we are in the midst of these bouts of bad luck our focus is on the negative and that means we are tuning out the positives in our lives.
Let me give you an example. The other day I asked I client who’d come feeling at the end of her tether and complaining of feeling strung out and anxious all the time. “If you didn’t feel stressed; what would you be able to do instead?”
She looked at me for a moment or two, opened her mouth to start to speak, changed her mind and paused. Then started to explain all the things that were making her stressed and how she didn’t want to be so stressed.
My client had got so used to focussing only on her stressed state and the reasons why she felt that way that her mind was stuck in that grove, seemingly unable to go in any other direction. It had become a deeply ingrained habit.
Habits like this and others are often the reason why people stay stuck with feelings of being helpless and hopeless.
The Easter break for most of us is over and it’s been the first day back to work, the morning spent staring perhaps at a pc screen and zapping into the delete folder as many e-mails as possible with a small sense of glee.
It is surprising sometimes to stop and discover what pleases us and how limiting these small unconsidered pleasures really are.
What if you decided at the beginning of the day the kind of discoveries, actions and exchanges with other people do please you that you’d like to have.
Perhaps you might decide to make at least one person smile today. That person could be a stranger on your train journey, the person who serves you at the coffee shop, the stranger that you help by holding the door open for them.
There are numerous ways for you to make this small event happen, but what you’ll notice now is that by having that thought for just a nano-second whilst reading this text images or notions of how it could happen and the immediate outcome have already popped into your head.
This is the marvel of your mind, once you give it direction it will set a course almost immediately. So why not put this to good use and populate your forthcoming days and weeks with a number of small but life enhancing events to look forward to that give you real noncommercial pleasure. Don’t limit yourself to my earlier suggestion include other nature-oriented pleasures like noticing the sunlight and clouds, or the trees emerging into bud as spring marches headlong into summer.
Set your imagination free and it will do the work for you. The thing about doing this is that it will become the norm over a relatively short period of time and you’ll notice the difference in many ways. You’ll feel more positive , you’ll attract new responses from the people around you because you are noticing more of what’s good in life. We tend to gravitate towards people with positive vibes and those that send out such vibes usually appreciate the simple pleasures in life and as a consequence suffer less stress. Think about it . . . . . and let me know.